She’s Mad. 

She doesn’t want to go to IHOP on a Tuesday. She wants to go on Wednesday. We sit down and she says, “I’m getting the tilapia.”

Dear My Kid’s Ex Boyfriend

Look, I understand you’re 15 years old. And there was no real expectation that you’d be together for any length of actual time.

And I guess I’m grateful you didn’t di it before finals, because she is a wreck right now and there’s no way she could have studied in that condition.

But here’s what makes me mad.

First, it was obvious to me you’ve been checked out for a couple of months. 7800 texts a month down to about 2400?  “Busy” every weekend, day off, Boy Scouts, service hours….I’ve been asking her for a good long while if you two were still a thing. But instead of ripping off the band-aid and telling her, you lied. Kept it to yourself, pretended you had legitimate reasons, pretended you still cared.

There’s two problems wih this. One, you allowed her a cess when you didn’t really want it. Thereby making her a pain in your ass and stoking your anger and now you take it out on her like she is the problem.

Second, it makes her second guess herself for the next time. YOU had the benefit of a normal girlfriend. Someone trusting and accepting of your time with friends, your time alone, and your words; completely  confident in your truth. When its time for the next one, she will be afraid, second guessing, and replaying your laundry list of her failings in her head. It will prevent her from being her un-edited self and put a barrier between them that she will have to overcome in order to trust again.

And that makes you a bad guy. We’ll see gow you handle the rest of the summer. We’ll see how you handle your return to school and your interactions with the group and with her.

And then you’ll still be an ass.